My name is Dr. Helen Fisher and I study the brain in love. Four years ago I designed the personality test on Chemistry.com. To date, some 8 million people in 40 countries have taken this test. This blog will explore what I’ve learned from those tests and will attempt to crack the code on love: what is it? How does it work? Why do we fall in love with people and how do we sustain it?
Love is wild. It fires up primitive chemicals in the brain associated with craving and obsession. This brain circuitry will never change. But the way we date, and the types of partnerships we make, have changed more in the past 50 years than in the past 5,000. Today, one out of 5 new relationships begins online; and one of out six marries someone they met online. This was unheard of 15 years ago. Virginity at marriage; arranged marriages; ’til death do us part… Freed from these traditions, we can finally create the kinds of partnerships we want.
But this takes some understanding and creativity. So my role in each post will be to bring you the latest scientific news (and advice) about how to find and keep romance in your life. I’ll start here, with a few facts:
– Men are just as romantic as women; and today men are more interested in getting married than women are. (Men are not commitment phobic.)
-Almost 90% of Americans will wed by middle age—although 70% would be happy in a long-term committed relationship that never leads to matrimony. And both sexes are working harder on their partnerships than at any other time in history.
-More about you specifically: From data I collected weeks ago on Chemistry.com,
- 82% of you plan to remain “in love” with your spouse forever. (…And this is possible).
- Most of you (81%) would not marry someone you are not in love with, even if he or she has everything you are looking for in a partner. (You are genuine romantics!).
- Just about half of you (47%) would marry someone quite different from yourself in age and background. (Bravo; these prejudices are breaking down.)
- And 75% of you feel you have a better chance of meeting someone on the Internet than at a wedding or any other social gathering. (You’re right about this too).
So, a little about me. Despite 35 years of studying love, I’m a diehard romantic. I am also single—and looking for my sweetheart. So… we’ll do this together. Last, I deeply believe that if there ever was a time in human evolution when we have the opportunity to make satisfying and exciting partnerships, that time is now.
Try Chemistry.com here.